By: Jamie Gahagan, MACP

Have you ever found yourself saying, “I know I should feel something… but I don’t”?

Emotional numbness is a common (and often confusing) response to trauma. Many people expect trauma to show up as overwhelming emotions like fear, sadness, or anger. But for many survivors, trauma shows up as the opposite: feeling disconnected, empty, flat, or emotionally shut down.

If you’ve been wondering why you feel numb, detached, or “checked out,” your nervous system may be doing exactly what it learned to do to survive.

What Is Emotional Numbness?

Emotional numbness is a reduced ability to feel emotions, both painful and pleasurable ones. People often describe it as:

Feeling “empty” or emotionally flat
Being disconnected from yourself or others
Struggling to feel joy, sadness, or excitement
Going through the motions without feeling present
Knowing something matters, but not feeling that it does

While numbness can occur with depression, anxiety, or burnout, it is especially common in people who have experienced trauma.

The Link Between Trauma and Feeling Numb

Trauma overwhelms the nervous system.

When something is too much (too fast, too painful, or too unsafe) your brain and body shift into survival mode. If fight or flight isn’t possible, the nervous system may move into a freeze or shutdown response.

This is where numbness often begins.

Numbness as a Survival Strategy

From a trauma perspective, numbness is not a failure to cope, in fact, it is coping.

If feeling everything was unbearable, your system learned to feel less
If emotions weren’t safe to express, your body learned to suppress them
If you had to stay functional, numbness helped you keep going

At the time, emotional shutdown may have been protective. The problem is that the nervous system doesn’t always realize the danger has passed.

How Trauma Changes the Nervous System

Trauma can keep the body stuck in survival mode long after the event is over.

Instead of moving fluidly between activation and rest, the nervous system may default to hypoarousal: a low-energy state marked by:

Emotional blunting
Low motivation
Fatigue or heaviness
Disconnection from the body
Difficulty accessing feelings

This is why trauma survivors often say things like:

“I feel numb, but I don’t know why.”
“Nothing really touches me anymore.”
“I miss feeling like myself.”

Why Numbness Can Feel Scary or Shameful

Many people feel distressed about being numb.

They may worry that they are:

Cold
Broken
Unempathetic
“Too far gone”
Failing at healing

But numbness is not a character flaw. It’s a learned nervous system response, and one that can change with the right support.

Can You Feel Numb and Anxious at the Same Time?

Yes — and this is very common.

Trauma doesn’t always look like one clear state. Many people fluctuate between:

Feeling emotionally shut down
Feeling overwhelmed or anxious

This push-pull can be exhausting. You might feel disconnected one moment and flooded the next, which can make it hard to trust your internal experience.

How Trauma Therapy Helps With Emotional Numbness

Healing numbness isn’t about forcing yourself to feel more. In fact, pushing too hard can backfire.

Trauma-informed therapy focuses on safety, pacing, and nervous system regulation, helping your body learn that it’s okay to feel again, gradually.

Approaches such as:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE)
Trauma-informed CBT
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)

can help clients:

Understand numbness with compassion
Reconnect with bodily sensations safely
Increase emotional range over time
Feel more present and alive

The goal isn’t to remove numbness overnight, but to build enough safety that your system no longer needs it.

Small Signs Numbness Is Softening

Healing often happens quietly. Some early signs include:

Feeling slightly more connected to your body
Noticing moments of emotion, even briefly
Feeling safer in relationships
Experiencing curiosity instead of judgment toward yourself

These are meaningful shifts, even if they don’t feel dramatic.

You Are Not Broken — Your System Adapted

If trauma taught your nervous system to numb out, that response made sense then. And with the right support, your system can learn new ways of being now.

Feeling numb doesn’t mean you’re disconnected forever. It means your body learned how to survive. Survival can evolve into healing.

Looking for Support?

If emotional numbness is affecting your relationships, work, or sense of self, trauma-informed therapy can help you reconnect at a pace that feels safe and respectful.

You don’t have to force your way back to feeling — there’s another way!

When Trauma Makes You Feel Numb: Understanding Emotional Numbness